Who farted? Auckland boss fires all staff until mystery farter apologises


The boss of an Auckland firm has gone to extraordinary lengths to find which of his 23 employees let out a whopper during a recent team meeting. According to reports, the manager was presenting their quarterly results when a large “parp!” interrupted the meeting.

The boss reportedly demanded “Who was it!?” –  but none of the employees at the meeting admitted to the crime. After nobody came forward to apologise for the unwelcome gas release, the boss then issued a surprising ultimatum – if nobody owned up to the pong by the end of the day, all staff would be fired. As it turned out, nobody was willing to put their hand up for the windy mistake, and the boss then handed out a dismissal notice to all his employees; however, he decided to continue to pay all staff their full wages until the matter was officially dealt with. “It’s a bit extreme, but I can understand he wanted to find out who interrupted the meeting,” said one employee who was sacked. “It definitely wasn’t me [who farted], although I do know some colleagues went to an Indian restaurant for lunch and had some curry. There was definitely a strong curry aroma after the fart, so I would suspect it was one of this group.”

Another employee suggested the boss missed an opportunity to easily discover who among the coworkers was the gassy perp. “All he had to do was sniff each of our bottoms individually and the answer would’ve been painfully clear.”

Conflicting reports suggest the identity of the mystery farter may be the same as that of an unidentified Kiwi man who has made headlines during a recent trip to Phuket. In that story, the man involved set a new record for bar fines after purchasing the owner’s wife of a Walking St bar for over 30 million Thai baht.