With less than two weeks until New Zealanders go to the polls to potentially vote for a new flag design, a late inclusion has been added that is receiving a ground-swell of support. The so-called ‘Fire the Lazer’ design, which did not appear as an option during the earlier referendum, has been added to the ballot papers, according to a source familiar with the matter.
“Due to the low level of public support for the Silver Fern design, a decision was made that a third option should be included,” revealed the confidential source. “A panel of 1,000 Kiwis were polled to determine what alternative design should be added to the poll starting on March 3, and ‘Fire the Lazer’ received 80% of votes, well ahead of the ‘Te Pepe’ design”. Earlier polling revealed only around 30% of voters were in favour of switching from the existing flag design to the Silver Fern option. “With the addition of ‘Fire the Lazer’ to the mix, our latest opinion poll projects it will be the most popular option in the upcoming referendum,” commented the source. We took to the streets of Auckland to gauge the public’s reaction to the design.
“I think it’s bloody brilliant,” said 83-year old George Sheppard of One Tree Hill. “I’ll be voting for this laser Kiwi bird and you can tell John Key to shove the white fern up his arse!” 24-year old mother-of-six Katie Bailey from Glen Innes was also positive on ‘Fire the Lazer’. “It’s really choice! Now my kids can grow up in a New Zealand that has a flag strongly representing our modern values,” she observed. However, one male respondent was less than pleased with the new alternative. “‘Fire the Lazer’ is not bad,” admitted the 32-year old Highbury man, who refused to be named. “But in honesty, I’d much prefer that one with Joyce and the dildo.”