Brisbane club bans French backpacker after intercourse on dance floor


A popular nightlife venue in Brisbane’s Fortitude Valley has permanently banned a French backpacker after he engaged in intercourse with a Chinese woman on the dance floor last night. Eyewitnesses at the scene reported the 25-year old male, later confirmed to be a French backpacker travelling along the east coast of Australia since late 2015, was at least half finished before being prematurely ejected from the venue.

We reached out to the parties involved in the dance-floor deed but both declined to comment, although a friend of the male participant stated “It’s not the first time he’s gotten involved in something like this; when we were in Sydney I had to rescue him from a bad Tinder date; turns out the woman he matched with had a husband who was a bikie!” With such a risky lifestyle it’s a wonder the young Frenchman is still alive and has all his peripheral organs in good working order. Management of the Fortitude Valley club refused a request for an interview, although one of the bouncers on duty during the night spoke briefly to say that “[if we hadn’t intervened] I reckon the cleaning staff would’ve been demanding double pay.”

While the Frenchman received a permanent ban, witnesses at the club were surprised that his female partner received only a warning and was free to remain at the venue for the rest of the night. “The double standards are quite appalling,” commented one witness, who refused to be named. “I feel the guy was quite hard done by, as the girl was the one who made the first move by pushing him to the floor and sitting on him.” Another witness speculated the venue had an ulterior motive by allowing the woman to remain at the club. “For the rest of the night, every bloke in the place was lining up to buy her a drink!”