Auckland man fired after co-workers discover ‘secret booger’ collection


A 37-year old South Auckland man has been dismissed from his position as a financial analyst after co-workers reportedly discovered a pile of dried nasal mucus inside his filing cabinet. When questioned by his colleagues, the man appeared surprised and asked them “What’s wrong with that, don’t you have your own booger collection?”

The dried mucus, which was filed in a section of the cabinet labelled as “Property of John Key”, was discovered by one of the man’s colleagues during a routine audit. “I was responsible for going through the cabinet and making sure everything was filed correctly,” commented Pat Kendrick, who has been with the firm for several years. “I was curious to find one file was labelled as the property of John Key, as I’m pretty sure he’s never worked here.” Ms. Kendrick was shocked when she opened the file. “I couldn’t believe my eyes to find the folder contained hundreds of little booger balls. I dropped it in shock and went to see HR immediately.” The owner of the file was called into an interview with his boss and the HR manager, and asked to explain the collection.

“When we told him that having a ‘secret booger collection’ is not acceptable, and definitely not hygienic, he was quite surprised,” commented the company’s HR manager. “We offered him to remain on in his position with counselling, providing the boogers were incinerated immediately, but the man declined, telling us he would rather be fired. We therefore had no choice but to terminate his contract.” Despite losing his job, the man was reportedly in good spirits as he waited to collect unemployment benefits. “At least I got to keep my boogers!”