Sex toy blamed in seafood van smash


Cirencester: A female driver reportedly lost control of more than just her vehicle in an accident involving her Mini Cooper, a stationery seafood delivery van and a popular sex toy.

According to a report by the Irish Mirror, the delivery van, owned by M&J Seafood, was stationary in traffic when it was struck from behind by the Mini, driven by a female in her 30s. The van was fitted with a rear camera, much to the luck of the driver who was on his first shift with the fresh fish company. Footage from the camera revealed that the woman stumbled out of her vehicle doing up her trousers and holding a “Rampant Rabbit” style sex toy, and it’s a fair assumption that the use of said device contributed to the unfortunate rear-ending.

M&J Seafood have reportedly denied requests to release the footage, although we’re all desperately hoping that the sex toy smash video will be leaked to YouTube in future. The matter has been referred to the firm’s insurers, who will no doubt be adding this to their “most ridiculous claims of 2015” file.