A 46-year old Toa Payoh man has filed for divorce after catching his wife in flagrante delicto with an unusually shaped durian. Neighbours of the couple reported the events leading up to the discovery of the fruity affair.
“The husband usually only returns to the apartment after 5pm, but on this occasion he was home around 3pm,” commented a witness who lives in an apartment on the same floor. “I assume his wife was not expecting him to come so early.” The man stormed into the residence after hearing what other witnesses claimed to be ‘loud, pleasurable moans’. “I was concerned the woman was entertaining a male visitor at the time, but the truth was far juicier.” Witnesses reported hearing shouts and a loud argument after the husband entered the apartment, before he threw open the front door, flinging a slimy fruit into the hallway. “I was struck by the shape and size of this durian, it was unlike anything I’ve seen before and quite closely resembled a penis.”
The husband quickly packed some belongings and left the property in a taxi. “We haven’t seen any sign of him since; I imagine he was quite upset having been upstaged by a fruit.” Meanwhile, the wife of the man also appears to be a bit depressed after being caught in the act. “She has been much more quiet than usual, although I have noticed her down at the fruit market several times since.”