Singapore pick-up artist castrated after nightclub stunt went wrong


One of Singapore’s most famous pick-up artists is tonight recovering in hospital after a terrible accident at a Clarke Quay nightclub on Friday. The 28-year old man, who is well-known on online seduction communities, was attempting a new pick-up method when things went horribly wrong.

Onlookers at the club reported the man arrived at around 1:00AM, and he wasted no time before attempting to pick-up several women with some of his usual routines. “The first girl he talked to was absolutely stunning, but he went right up to her and said ‘You’re wearing too much make-up’,” reported one onlooker, who confessed to being a fan of the notorious pick-up artist. “I expected the girl to slap him, but for some reason she bought him a drink and gave him her number.” The man was observed working his way through the crowded dance floor and collecting the phone numbers of several more women. “I really don’t know how squeezing a girl’s bottom helps him seduce women, but he appeared to have a lot of success.” However, it was a new trick attempted by the pick-up artist that would lead to his painful downfall.

“As he approached the bar, he turned to a group of male fans who had been following him around the club. He pointed to what must have been the hottest girl in the club and told them he was going to try something new.” reported a witness at the scene. The pick-up artist approached the attractive woman, and without warning grabbed her waist and flipped her up over his shoulder. “We were amazed at his confidence to do something like that,” commented the witness, “But something must have gone wrong, because the girl didn’t seem to appreciate it and started kicking him.”

The footwear that led to the man's downfall
The footwear that led to the man’s downfall

The pick-up artist quickly released the girl and sank to the floor, appearing to be in severe pain. “We wondered if this was part of his routine too, but we noticed blood around his crotch and rushed to help.” The witnesses were shocked to discover the pick-up artist’s penis had been completely severed, and despite being rushed to hospital it was unable to be reattached. “In hindsight, he really shouldn’t have tried that move on a girl wearing spike heels.”