A 29-year old male expat working in Seoul as an English teacher was left speechless after an unusual incident at an Itaewon nightclub on Friday night. According to a post on the man’s social media page, he had attended the club to celebrate a fellow teacher’s birthday, but the night took a strange turn after he visited the men’s room at around 1:30am.
In the post, the teacher described how he felt the need to defecate, after having earlier joined his colleagues for a birthday dinner at a nearby restaurant. “I must have eaten several pounds of Korean fried chicken, which is always a delicious treat, but the combination of beer, soju and champagne played havoc with my intestines,” wrote the teacher. “I had been trying to put off visiting the men’s room for several hours, but eventually the pressure in my bowels was too strong and the desire to release the beast was irresistible.” The man proceeded to the men’s room of the club and set about finding a toilet suitable for the dump. “The first stall I tried had two drunk men passed out on the ground, and the commode in the second stall was overflowing with puke. Luckily, the third and final stall was relatively clean with the majority of the toilet seat intact, so I immediately dropped trou and started to drops the kids off at pool.” Unfortunately for the expat, in his haste to exorcise the brown demon he’d failed to lock the stall, a mistake that would soon prove costly.
“I was halfway through my second turd when the door burst open, and a woman wearing a mask burst in. I was too shocked to defend myself, and completely horrified when she reached underneath me and pinched my loaf. By the time I had recovered enough to pull up my pants she had fled the men’s room, and I was unable to find her anywhere inside the club.” The man has appealed to other club goers who were at the venue to come forward if they have any information on the poopy burglar. Thus far, the only lead is that several other expats reported the club’s brown ale had a stronger flavour than usual on the night in question.