Secret Santa is a popular tradition at many offices across Singapore during the festive season. Employees are randomly assigned a colleague to purchase a small gift for, and these are presented at office parties in late December. The identity of the gift-giver remains a secret, and staff have much fun trying to guess which of their co-workers was their Secret Santa for the year.
In theory, the gift exchange is harmless fun and a way for team members to share some festive cheer. However, for one firm in Singapore’s downtown core, a careless mistake at last year’s Secret Santa party resulted in the HR department banning the practice permanently. Under a strict condition of anonymity, an employee at the company gave us the low-down on what occurred. “We were gathered around the staff room to open our gifts, and after several fairly standard items passed by it was the receptionist’s turn. Now this poor lady has only been with the company for a couple of months, and she’s incredibly shy. Just the act of having to get up in front of a crowd to open her present was enough to make her blush. But the surprising item inside her package made her instantly turn bright red!”. The receptionist dropped the large box on the table and cried out, with her puzzled colleagues crowding around to see what had caused her shocking ejaculation.
“I was as stunned as her to see a carton of XXL-sized durian-flavoured condoms,” reported the anonymous witness, “And affixed to the pack was a note reading: Enjoy this delicious treat!” This was all too much for the poor receptionist, who fled the office and hasn’t returned since. A few days later, a letter written in the same handwriting was pinned up on the noticeboard, apologising for the mix-up. “I had meant to buy a box of durian candy, but I guess I was blur like sotong. Paiseh.”
There was an amusing footnote to the incident, which our editor reluctantly allowed us to share with you. One of the senior managers was caught by our informant sneaking out of the office with the discarded gift. “I asked him, What use do you have for those, aren’t you a happily married man?” The manager laughed and explained: “Durian is my wife’s favourite fruit, and she hasn’t kum my lan in 30 years!”