Hanoi Yogurt Festival ruined with reports that mystery ejaculator came

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The annual Hanoi Yogurt Festival has been thrown into disarray after reports that the same man involved in an earlier ejaculation incident at a luxury Tây Hồ condominium was spotted at the event. Organizers of the festival moved quickly to deny the allegations, but members of the public are understandably worried about contamination.

“I’ve been coming here for many years, but I haven’t bought any yogurt this time,” revealed Ngọc Hùng, owner of two frozen-yogurt shops in Hai Bà Trưng. “After I heard that the ejaculator was spotted at the festival, I was worried he might have left an unwelcome surprise in some of the stock.” Yogurt vendors at the festival have been taking desperate measures to regain consumer confidence in their product, with several offering independent chemical analysis to prove their yogurt is free from semen. However, the plan seems to have backfired, with several yogurts being called into question for high levels of pesticides and other toxic contaminants.

Despite fears after the alleged ejaculator sightings, the judging panel convened on February 23 to taste the top-rated yogurts at this year’s festival, eventually awarding the gold medal to Châu Uông Mau’s traditional Vietnamese yogurt recipe. The panel noted that the yogurt presented by Châu Uông Mau this year was thicker and creamier than previous versions, and was well balanced by a “slightly salty” aftertaste.

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